The One Advice You Need To Hear

On this blog, I specialise in talking about wellness and continual self-development and I stand by the statements ‘ Self-development is key to uncovering and discovering old and new things about yourself’ and it’s a great experience to undergo. However, if this search turns from being healthy to an unhealthy constant search of finding one’s self, it can end up with someone being exhausted and burnt out.

When we are in a constant battle of over analysing every situation we remove our true self from the experience because we are constantly searching for something that doesn’t need to be altered.

I often see people beat themselves up about habits they want to form but, I am reminding you that you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. What doesn’t help is when you start to blur the lines between developing healthy habits on a self-development journey and an unhealthy habit of searching for something that’s not there.

You wouldn’t dismantle a fully working, functional pen so why do the same to yourself?

 

Live everyday with gratitude X

WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

*Any hyperlinks in this post is not an affiliated links*
We all have certain silent languages that evoke love within us when we receive something, some might feel good when they spend quality time with others while others love a cuddle. This introduction to love languages was coined by Gary Chapman who introduces to us that there are 5 types of languages and by knowing your love language and loved ones loved languages ( that was a mouthful), we can form a better understanding within our relationships. Love languages can help identify and solve conflict within a relationship and even bring relationships together.

The 5 types of loves languages are:

Act of service- Act of service is related to someone doing a service that the person would like, an example of this is doing food shopping or cleaning the house.

Physical gift- Physical gift is about receiving gifts and having an appreciation of that person giving you a gift. For example, your partner gets you a gift and you think aww they thought about me during this time that they got me a gift.

Words of affirmation- Words of affirmation is anything said to uplift a person, for example, it can be ‘You are glowing today’ to ‘I am so grateful you are in my life’.
Physical touch- Any physical touch that expresses love such as touching, holding hands, cuddles, physically being near to someone to sex.
Quality time- the Quality time is time spent together, giving each other that undivided attention, embracing their presence and fully committing to it. This takes form in watching tv together, going out to restaurants or bars.
Now you know what the 5 types are, I am going to tell you how you can use this to your advantage.
Learning about your love languages will make you have an awareness and understanding of how you like to be loved and treated. Once you have an understanding of your love language and the 5 types, you will start to see how others like to be treated. Love languages are not solely based on a romantic relationship, it can be in friendships, family, colleagues. It’s a true indication of how a person likes to feel.

To find out your love language all you need to do is take a quick quiz. The quiz questions are based on statements that you think best describe you. In the end, it will be ranked what is your top primary love language is and how much you scored. Sometimes you might have two love languages ranked the same number and that is totally fine.

Below I will show you what my main love languages are, I took this back 2017 and took it again and it’s still the same. I am so fascinated with finding out what other people’s love languages are, I’m surprised I have not done this post sooner.

So, what is your love language

Live a harmonious life X

TUNE IN AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF

 

When was the last time you listened and took your own advice?

The definition of trust is a ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of something or someone’. The word is normally given to an external source
We gain trust through life experiences and people.

What is the definition of listening,’ to give one’s attention to a sound’. The two terms trust and listening go hand in hand when experiencing any situation in life.
I want to talk about how we openly listen and trust others but find it hard to listen and trust our inner voice. Here’s an example, When you need answers to a specific question, the first answer is found within you. You listen to the receiving answer, but sometimes the answer is not that convincing, so you seek further answers from other sources, usually people you trust(it’s that word again). You go to that trusted person and they tell you the same answer you told yourself earlier. You take on that advice and have more faith in the decision.

But, why did you not listen and trust yourself in beginning to know that you were already making the right decision for you?

We are all guilty of this! It’s a natural habit to some of us when we need guidance that we are doing the right things. Our intuition is there for a reason, it’s there to communicate with you and to hear the message you need to listen.
To understand how to sharpen your mind and learn to listen and trust your intuition there are a few things that can help you along the way:

• The most effortless one is to simply listen. Sit still and listen to what your mind and body are telling you. That will give you a big indicator of how you are feeling towards your question. It can come in many forms a feeling, a sound or lyrics in a song.
• Understand when you are feeling negative, it can cloud your judgement

 

• Trust the feelings you get, they are there to protect you

 

•  When receiving the right message, you will fee feel calm with a sense of knowing

Attachment Vs Detachment

I have been challenged in writing this blog post because there is so many things I could talk about based on this topic….but we would be here for ages.  I am going to start with attachment vs detachment in general and in the next coming days, I am going to go into more depth with specific types of attachment.

We are attached to many different things, material goods, relationships, friendships, life and thoughts and they either spark something within us or dull our sparkle. The experiences and attachments we have clouds our judgement which results in overthinking. An example of this is the attachment to past life experience. The subject is the ’past life’ and the attached emotion is regret. The hybrid of the experience and emotion together can have an individual over analysing the past, reliving the experience in their head and creating different scenarios of how they would do it differently if they could.

This type of attachment can lead to a negative state of mind about our past, present and future self. It gives a disservice to our present because we are not living in the moment, we are too focused on what has already passed.
When we have an attachment to something, we don’t want to let it go so we keep hold of it for as long as possible even if it hurts us in the long run, it’s the certainty of the unknown if we let go of it, what will happen.

This is why we need to reevaluate what we are desperate to hold on too. Detachment enables you to get out of the mind frame of controlling things by being able to remove yourself and not take things too personally.

It is one of the hardest things to do because you have built up this visionary in your head, where you have constantly replayed it, scrutinised it and adapted it, to suddenly letting it go and having a change of habit which isn’t natural for you.
Detachment is an understanding of coming to peace with things that are in your life and when it’s ready to let go, you can do it effortlessly.

Be mindful in the next coming weeks of what you attach yourself to and the messages you constantly tell yourself. Perhaps you’re holding on to a friendship that no longer serves you or a thought that is fearing change.

Keep your eyes open to read about specific types of attachment in my next post.

 

Stay Grounded X